








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 362 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 210 matches | ||
| Faceit | 21 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3421 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,680 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5664 | 34% |
| Smokes | 4162 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3847 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 3007 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $310,172 of utility $48 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 784 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [$] | 70% | 30 |
| #2 | ERO | 64% | 28 |
| #3 | Perka | 63% | 27 |
| #4 | Jahu | 59% | 27 |
| #5 | ImmortalliS | 59% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sweet ymmij | 5 | 0.0045 |
| #2 | Al3x | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | ImmortalliS | 3 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | ♿Brzeszczot | 3 | 0.0037 |
| #5 | Black Cat | 3 | 0.0051 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Al3x | 287 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #2 | ImmortalliS | 227 | 0.23 | 5 min |
| #3 | sweet ymmij | 217 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #4 | ♿Brzeszczot | 168 | 0.21 | 4 min |
| #5 | squ.! | 167 | 0.08 | 5 min |





