








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 739 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 80 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 34 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




37 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3040 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,916 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3246 | 33% |
| Smokes | 1047 | 11% |
| HE Grenades | 3456 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 2167 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,197,130 of utility $223 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 35 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chazz | 1229 | 0.20 | 30 min |
| #2 | Steba | 1053 | 0.23 | 25 min |
| #3 | ezkillZ | 571 | 0.16 | 17 min |
| #4 | RubberDucky168 | 319 | 0.30 | 6 min |
| #5 | ethanschaner | 237 | 0.27 | 7 min |





