








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 469 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 192 matches | ||
| Premier | 183 matches | ||
| Faceit | 120 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3890 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,267 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4382 | 27% |
| Smokes | 4252 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 4216 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 3417 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,217,480 of utility $193 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 67 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AssassinsFade | 45% | 116 |
| #2 | SirWali | 45% | 105 |
| #3 | 𝐓𝐢 MDXi | 44% | 108 |
| #4 | TROLLOGY | 43% | 119 |
| #5 | kRONENNN ;. | 43% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | TROLLOGY | 43% | 119 |
| #5 | kRONENNN ;. | 43% | 47 |
| #6 | EindeutigDaniel.D5 | 39% | 46 |
| #7 | Senor VAC | 39% | 67 |
| #8 | Bischof Stefan Oster | 38% | 60 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Senor VAC | 9 | 0.0062 |
| #2 | EindeutigDaniel.D5 | 6 | 0.0060 |
| #3 | AssassinsFade | 3 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | Bischof Stefan Oster | 3 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | TROLLOGY | 2 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TROLLOGY | 638 | 0.26 | 13 min |
| #2 | 𝐓𝐢 MDXi | 316 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #3 | AssassinsFade | 239 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #4 | EindeutigDaniel.D5 | 192 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #5 | Senor VAC | 175 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bischof Stefan Oster | +2.71 | 81 | 70 |
| #2 | 𝐓𝐢 MDXi | +2.56 | 71 | 72 |
| #3 | EindeutigDaniel.D5 | +2.41 | 55 | 67 |
| #4 | SirWali | +1.58 | 74 | 45 |
| #5 | TROLLOGY | -0.01 | 63 | 57 |





