








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 553 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 245 matches | ||
| Esplay | 73 matches | 1,785 | |
| Faceit | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5737 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,358 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5917 | 31% |
| Smokes | 5226 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 5400 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 2815 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,052,136 of utility $102 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 90 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | xlb | 52% | 46 |
| #7 | supermannkrølle | 51% | 115 |
| #8 | CZN BURAK | 51% | 106 |
| #9 | kaken1nja | 49% | 90 |
| #10 | HeteNicco[G] | 46% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kaken1nja | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | CZN BURAK | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | munky[G] | 2 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | supermannkrølle | 1 | 0.0004 |
| #5 | demkO_o | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | demkO_o | 282 | 0.14 | 10 min |
| #2 | supermannkrølle | 221 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #3 | HeteNicco[G] | 209 | 0.23 | 5 min |
| #4 | CZN BURAK | 205 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #5 | kaken1nja | 144 | 0.07 | 3 min |





