










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1086 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 241 matches | ||
| Faceit | 77 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Esplay | 5 matches | 1,568 | |
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 51 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4575 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,315 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6388 | 31% |
| Smokes | 4569 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 4914 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 4444 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,695,551 of utility $160 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 800 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | CZN BURAK | 49% | 68 |
| #6 | supermannkrølle | 48% | 252 |
| #7 | Daniii | 41% | 27 |
| #8 | _donjin_ | 38% | 60 |
| #9 | Odi | 21% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kaken1nja | 537 | 0.10 | 11 min |
| #2 | supermannkrølle | 506 | 0.09 | 14 min |
| #3 | ZZRunner | 235 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #4 | Daniii | 172 | 0.31 | 5 min |
| #5 | CZN BURAK | 129 | 0.09 | 4 min |





