








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 181 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 83 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1332 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,898 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1468 | 30% |
| Smokes | 1299 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1518 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 613 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $281,764 of utility $96 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 82 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bot Muhammed | 67% | 9 |
| #2 | Anda! | 57% | 21 |
| #3 | Nørgaard | 57% | 30 |
| #4 | Frizzer-DK | 51% | 68 |
| #5 | Woundet^^ | 51% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Nørgaard | 57% | 30 |
| #4 | Frizzer-DK | 51% | 68 |
| #5 | Woundet^^ | 51% | 43 |
| #6 | Dottore | 45% | 62 |
| #7 | jåhn | 42% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nørgaard | 6 | 0.0094 |
| #2 | Frizzer-DK | 4 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | Dottore | 4 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | jåhn | 3 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | Woundet^^ | 2 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Frizzer-DK | 132 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #2 | jåhn | 98 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #3 | Woundet^^ | 92 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #4 | Nørgaard | 81 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #5 | Dottore | 80 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bot Muhammed | +7.66 | 85 | 62 |
| #2 | Woundet^^ | +5.80 | 91 | 59 |
| #3 | Nørgaard | +2.18 | 80 | 48 |
| #4 | Du Er God | +1.26 | 78 | 66 |
| #5 | Anda! | +0.65 | 59 | 50 |





