








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 128 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
598 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,688 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 803 | 30% |
| Smokes | 600 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1031 | 38% |
| Molotovs | 254 | 9% |
Our logs show you have wasted $257,843 of utility $131 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Nørgaard | 54% | 35 |
| #5 | Du Er God | 51% | 68 |
| #6 | Dottore | 48% | 66 |
| #7 | Woundet^^ | 48% | 46 |
| #8 | jåhn | 43% | 60 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Du Er God | 9 | 0.0064 |
| #2 | Nørgaard | 7 | 0.0095 |
| #3 | Dottore | 4 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | Woundet^^ | 3 | 0.0032 |
| #5 | jåhn | 2 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Du Er God | 157 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #2 | jåhn | 124 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #3 | Woundet^^ | 94 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #4 | Nørgaard | 83 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #5 | Dottore | 79 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bot Muhammed | +7.16 | 85 | 54 |
| #2 | Woundet^^ | +5.58 | 90 | 62 |
| #3 | Nørgaard | +2.25 | 81 | 51 |
| #4 | Du Er God | +1.36 | 77 | 68 |
| #5 | Anda! | +0.59 | 62 | 50 |





