








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 609 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 261 matches | ||
| Faceit | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4514 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,585 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4575 | 31% |
| Smokes | 3199 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 2789 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 4022 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,171,871 of utility $130 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 61 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nikil | 51% | 148 |
| #2 | oilman | 50% | 292 |
| #3 | Wolfgang Kupeeki | 50% | 305 |
| #4 | Naxx'Ril | 49% | 202 |
| #5 | x-ReFleX-x | 46% | 166 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | oilman | 50% | 292 |
| #3 | Wolfgang Kupeeki | 50% | 305 |
| #4 | Naxx'Ril | 49% | 202 |
| #5 | x-ReFleX-x | 46% | 166 |
| #6 | ✘₭㋡M₱ⱠɆ✘ | 46% | 115 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | oilman | 14 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | Wolfgang Kupeeki | 6 | 0.0009 |
| #3 | Nikil | 5 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | x-ReFleX-x | 4 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | Naxx'Ril | 3 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | oilman | 773 | 0.13 | 23 min |
| #2 | Wolfgang Kupeeki | 563 | 0.09 | 20 min |
| #3 | Nikil | 285 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #4 | x-ReFleX-x | 222 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #5 | ✘₭㋡M₱ⱠɆ✘ | 198 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BIGGEST GABE | +2.53 | 79 | 65 |
| #2 | oilman | +0.56 | 51 | 77 |
| #3 | Nikil | +0.49 | 62 | 59 |
| #4 | Wolfgang Kupeeki | -0.23 | 61 | 69 |
| #5 | ✘₭㋡M₱ⱠɆ✘ | -1.80 | 52 | 52 |





