








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1121 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 610 matches | ||
| Faceit | 65 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 109 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




42 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6997 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 38,032 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9355 | 25% |
| Smokes | 11328 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 8761 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 8588 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,827,286 of utility $113 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 22 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nikil | 53% | 195 |
| #2 | Wolfgang Kupeeki | 51% | 312 |
| #3 | Naxx'Ril | 50% | 469 |
| #4 | BIGGEST GABE | 50% | 292 |
| #5 | ✘₭㋡M₱ⱠɆ✘ | 48% | 248 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Wolfgang Kupeeki | 51% | 312 |
| #3 | Naxx'Ril | 50% | 469 |
| #4 | BIGGEST GABE | 50% | 292 |
| #5 | ✘₭㋡M₱ⱠɆ✘ | 48% | 248 |
| #6 | x-ReFleX-x | 47% | 284 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BIGGEST GABE | 19 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | ✘₭㋡M₱ⱠɆ✘ | 12 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | Naxx'Ril | 10 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | Nikil | 10 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | x-ReFleX-x | 7 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BIGGEST GABE | 1295 | 0.21 | 39 min |
| #2 | Wolfgang Kupeeki | 623 | 0.09 | 21 min |
| #3 | ✘₭㋡M₱ⱠɆ✘ | 411 | 0.08 | 9 min |
| #4 | x-ReFleX-x | 394 | 0.07 | 11 min |
| #5 | Nikil | 363 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BIGGEST GABE | +2.66 | 79 | 65 |
| #2 | oilman | +1.38 | 53 | 77 |
| #3 | Nikil | +0.84 | 65 | 62 |
| #4 | Wolfgang Kupeeki | -0.05 | 59 | 72 |
| #5 | ✘₭㋡M₱ⱠɆ✘ | -0.72 | 55 | 56 |





