








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 204 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 177 matches | ||
| Faceit | 113 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2884 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,988 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1659 | 18% |
| Smokes | 2837 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 2411 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2081 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,059,898 of utility $143 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 152 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pear * | 64% | 45 |
| #2 | . | 64% | 22 |
| #3 | bronwyn | 61% | 236 |
| #4 | dai | 57% | 30 |
| #5 | ⛧ smevan | 55% | 226 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | . | 64% | 22 |
| #3 | bronwyn | 61% | 236 |
| #4 | dai | 57% | 30 |
| #5 | ⛧ smevan | 55% | 226 |
| #6 | cute strafer | 47% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pear * | 6 | 0.0062 |
| #2 | ⛧ smevan | 5 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | bronwyn | 4 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | cute strafer | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⛧ smevan | 963 | 0.20 | 26 min |
| #2 | bronwyn | 327 | 0.07 | 9 min |
| #3 | pear * | 294 | 0.31 | 8 min |
| #4 | cute strafer | 127 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #5 | dai | 105 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dai | +2.72 | 83 | 58 |
| #2 | . | +1.64 | 78 | 63 |
| #3 | pear * | +1.54 | 77 | 70 |
| #4 | re:imu | +0.86 | 78 | 52 |
| #5 | ⛧ smevan | +0.73 | 72 | 81 |





