








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 172 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 84 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1774 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,243 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 704 | 22% |
| Smokes | 964 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 916 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 659 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $726,157 of utility $217 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 13 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | buttFkker420 | 67% | 15 |
| #2 | Skatin' fast | 54% | 13 |
| #3 | Nisslan | 45% | 31 |
| #4 | toin | 44% | 9 |
| #5 | iraqmenblower | 39% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Nisslan | 45% | 31 |
| #4 | toin | 44% | 9 |
| #5 | iraqmenblower | 39% | 18 |
| #6 | matsku | 37% | 35 |
| #7 | SoptippsTorsten | 35% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | matsku | 3 | 0.0041 |
| #2 | Nisslan | 1 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | SoptippsTorsten | 1 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | buttFkker420 | 1 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nisslan | 48 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #2 | SoptippsTorsten | 41 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #3 | iraqmenblower | 34 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #4 | buttFkker420 | 29 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| #5 | matsku | 17 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Skatin' fast | +4.14 | 85 | 62 |
| #2 | buttFkker420 | +3.82 | 80 | 43 |
| #3 | iraqmenblower | +1.52 | 83 | 71 |
| #4 | Nisslan | +1.19 | 69 | 61 |
| #5 | SoptippsTorsten | -0.12 | 71 | 64 |





