








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1 achievement has been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 163 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1398 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,497 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 657 | 15% |
| Smokes | 965 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1341 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1534 | 34% |
Our logs show you have wasted $501,862 of utility $128 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | iraqmenblower | 49% | 37 |
| #8 | toin | 47% | 15 |
| #9 | Niffe | 42% | 24 |
| #10 | henke | 37% | 35 |
| #11 | ♠︎ årmen ♠ | 20% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nisslan | 2 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | henke | 1 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | SoptippsTorsten | 1 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | assdigger | 1 | 0.0035 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | iraqmenblower | 87 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #2 | Nisslan | 63 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #3 | SoptippsTorsten | 46 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #4 | henke | 39 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #5 | Niffe | 26 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nisslan | +3.43 | 84 | 67 |
| #2 | buttFkker420 | +3.05 | 75 | 62 |
| #3 | assdigger | +2.26 | 83 | 74 |
| #4 | iraqmenblower | +1.69 | 80 | 71 |
| #5 | Niffe | +0.63 | 73 | 64 |





