








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1406 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 190 matches | ||
| Wingman | 174 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 15 matches | ||
| Esplay | 9 matches | 1,796 | |
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 22 different maps





Our logs show 71 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




30 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7003 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,581 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5719 | 29% |
| Smokes | 5330 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 4712 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 3820 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,046,034 of utility $145 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 902 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | iraqmenblower | 53% | 116 |
| #10 | ♠︎ årmen ♠ | 53% | 90 |
| #11 | LådVinsLAsse ♘ | 53% | 49 |
| #12 | 1Zukoo | 52% | 77 |
| #13 | matsku | 49% | 47 |





