








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 9 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
606 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,237 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 754 | 34% |
| Smokes | 542 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 553 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 388 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $263,630 of utility $150 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shitty McTitty | 80% | 5 |
| #2 | D3XTER | 80% | 5 |
| #3 | Itai | 69% | 32 |
| #4 | D3XTER | 60% | 43 |
| #5 | Pako | 58% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Itai | 69% | 32 |
| #4 | D3XTER | 60% | 43 |
| #5 | Pako | 58% | 24 |
| #6 | Billy | 52% | 58 |
| #7 | Drayz | 47% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | D3XTER | 5 | 0.0058 |
| #2 | Billy | 3 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | Itai | 2 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | D3XTER | 1 | 0.0079 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Itai | 265 | 0.41 | 10 min |
| #2 | Billy | 253 | 0.22 | 7 min |
| #3 | D3XTER | 81 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #4 | Pako | 58 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #5 | Shitty McTitty | 30 | 0.24 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shitty McTitty | +2.57 | 67 | 76 |
| #2 | D3XTER | +2.12 | 71 | 56 |
| #3 | Billy | +1.89 | 74 | 77 |
| #4 | D3XTER | +1.68 | 79 | 65 |
| #5 | Itai | +0.89 | 73 | 88 |





