








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
127 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 687 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 321 | 47% |
| Smokes | 160 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 148 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 58 | 8% |
Our logs show you have wasted $33,918 of utility $109 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Daddy Wolf | 100% | 3 |
| #2 | Drayz | 86% | 14 |
| #3 | Pako | 86% | 14 |
| #4 | D3XTER | 85% | 13 |
| #5 | Koi | 80% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Daddy Wolf | 100% | 3 |
| #2 | Drayz | 86% | 14 |
| #3 | Pako | 86% | 14 |
| #4 | D3XTER | 85% | 13 |
| #5 | Koi | 80% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | D3XTER | 2 | 0.0069 |
| #2 | Koi | 1 | 0.0079 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | D3XTER | 22 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| #2 | Pako | 20 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| #3 | Koi | 18 | 0.14 | 0 min |
| #4 | Daddy Wolf | 12 | 0.19 | 0 min |
| #5 | Drayz | 10 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shitty McTitty | +3.23 | 72 | 76 |
| #2 | D3XTER | +1.06 | 82 | 61 |
| #3 | Daddy Wolf | +0.24 | 85 | 47 |
| #4 | Pako | +0.20 | 31 | 48 |
| #5 | Koi | -0.91 | 72 | 53 |





