








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 9 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
352 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,331 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 466 | 35% |
| Smokes | 389 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 191 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 285 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $60,541 of utility $44 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Daddy Wolf | 100% | 4 |
| #2 | Itai | 100% | 5 |
| #3 | Shitty McTitty | 86% | 14 |
| #4 | D3XTER | 85% | 13 |
| #5 | NullDamageDuck | 67% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | NullDamageDuck | 67% | 12 |
| #6 | Drayz | 65% | 34 |
| #7 | Koi | 58% | 24 |
| #8 | D3XTER | 43% | 14 |
| #9 | Billy | 25% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Drayz | 2 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | Koi | 2 | 0.0040 |
| #3 | D3XTER | 2 | 0.0069 |
| #4 | D3XTER | 2 | 0.0072 |
| #5 | Shitty McTitty | 1 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Koi | 77 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #2 | Shitty McTitty | 71 | 0.23 | 2 min |
| #3 | Billy | 46 | 0.32 | 1 min |
| #4 | D3XTER | 37 | 0.13 | 0 min |
| #5 | Drayz | 24 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Itai | +5.09 | 83 | 90 |
| #2 | Shitty McTitty | +3.23 | 72 | 76 |
| #3 | Billy | +2.78 | 73 | 70 |
| #4 | NullDamageDuck | +2.11 | 77 | 61 |
| #5 | D3XTER | +1.30 | 67 | 57 |





