








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 94 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 87 matches | ||
| Faceit | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2198 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,897 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2762 | 35% |
| Smokes | 1777 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1560 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1798 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $464,272 of utility $107 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 43 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cloudey | 57% | 75 |
| #2 | tokee- | 57% | 60 |
| #3 | Korojuma | 56% | 52 |
| #4 | ✪ ette ;] | 54% | 70 |
| #5 | Makaveli | 47% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | tokee- | 57% | 60 |
| #3 | Korojuma | 56% | 52 |
| #4 | ✪ ette ;] | 54% | 70 |
| #5 | Makaveli | 47% | 30 |
| #6 | ♙ | 46% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ ette ;] | 5 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | ♙ | 4 | 0.0097 |
| #3 | Cloudey | 3 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | tokee- | 3 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | Korojuma | 3 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tokee- | 420 | 0.32 | 13 min |
| #2 | Cloudey | 227 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #3 | ✪ ette ;] | 147 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #4 | Korojuma | 139 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #5 | Makaveli | 75 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | phramez | +0.94 | 75 | 72 |
| #2 | tokee- | +0.91 | 56 | 79 |
| #3 | Cloudey | +0.74 | 67 | 56 |
| #4 | ✪ ette ;] | +0.15 | 75 | 64 |
| #5 | Korojuma | -0.47 | 78 | 53 |





