








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 9 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 178 matches | ||
| Faceit | 58 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2956 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,263 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2176 | 26% |
| Smokes | 2413 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1836 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1838 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $688,880 of utility $114 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zet | 58% | 31 |
| #2 | P H R A M E Z | 57% | 75 |
| #3 | ettemeister | 53% | 199 |
| #4 | Beenut | 52% | 128 |
| #5 | ✪ Schenkelele | 51% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | ettemeister | 53% | 199 |
| #4 | Beenut | 52% | 128 |
| #5 | ✪ Schenkelele | 51% | 43 |
| #6 | tokee- | 47% | 57 |
| #7 | Makaveli | 42% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ettemeister | 12 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | P H R A M E Z | 6 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | Beenut | 5 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | tokee- | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | ✪ Schenkelele | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tokee- | 406 | 0.33 | 13 min |
| #2 | ettemeister | 343 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| #3 | Beenut | 313 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #4 | P H R A M E Z | 271 | 0.16 | 8 min |
| #5 | ✪ Schenkelele | 119 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zet | +0.99 | 81 | 68 |
| #2 | ettemeister | +0.71 | 74 | 58 |
| #3 | P H R A M E Z | +0.52 | 67 | 68 |
| #4 | Cloudey | +0.43 | 66 | 56 |
| #5 | tokee- | +0.42 | 56 | 79 |





