








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 10 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 368 matches | ||
| Faceit | 61 matches | ||
| Wingman | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5089 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,683 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3097 | 21% |
| Smokes | 4129 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 3598 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 3859 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,247,553 of utility $124 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 35 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dexiz | 56% | 27 |
| #2 | LOLWaterchicken! | 56% | 27 |
| #3 | phramez | 54% | 70 |
| #4 | Korojuma | 53% | 109 |
| #5 | Cloudey | 53% | 199 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | S Ξ X S T Λ S Y x | 48% | 33 |
| #8 | ROMANSKi | 48% | 86 |
| #9 | ✪ Schenkelele | 46% | 28 |
| #10 | Makaveli | 44% | 32 |
| #11 | papz | 43% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cloudey | 16 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | ROMANSKi | 6 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | phramez | 5 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | Korojuma | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | papz | 3 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cloudey | 582 | 0.14 | 14 min |
| #2 | tokee- | 355 | 0.33 | 12 min |
| #3 | phramez | 278 | 0.18 | 8 min |
| #4 | Korojuma | 276 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #5 | ROMANSKi | 213 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LOLWaterchicken! | +1.27 | 72 | 67 |
| #2 | S Ξ X S T Λ S Y x | +1.25 | 80 | 61 |
| #3 | ✪ ette ;] | +1.00 | 77 | 62 |
| #4 | papz | +0.91 | 84 | 71 |
| #5 | phramez | +0.85 | 73 | 71 |





