








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 245 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 128 matches | ||
| Premier | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1930 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,753 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1127 | 20% |
| Smokes | 1856 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 1451 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1319 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $522,015 of utility $124 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 199 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | bo0m | 46% | 80 |
| #9 | cdiixon | 46% | 76 |
| #10 | Chilled_Dan | 43% | 83 |
| #11 | BlueSky | 39% | 36 |
| #12 | ♪♥lʍoɥɯnɹʇS♥♫ | 25% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bo0m | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #2 | cdiixon | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #3 | Control_taker98 | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | Cat_Petter15 | 1 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | ✪ Alphite | 1 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chilled_Dan | 298 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| #2 | Control_taker98 | 220 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| #3 | bo0m | 176 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #4 | cdiixon | 114 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #5 | ✪ Alphite | 77 | 0.16 | 3 min |





