








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 251 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 213 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3210 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,745 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1731 | 15% |
| Smokes | 3480 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 3384 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 3150 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $630,039 of utility $104 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 120 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | st1ng | 10 | 0.0049 |
| #2 | Sparks | 6 | 0.0041 |
| #3 | Kcow. | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | 소리 | 2 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | Nacas | 2 | 0.0039 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | st1ng | 226 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #2 | Kcow. | 220 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #3 | Sparks | 154 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #4 | pHilips | 144 | 0.23 | 4 min |
| #5 | r4nger- | 89 | 0.16 | 3 min |





