








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 977 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 326 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 49 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5300 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,680 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3648 | 21% |
| Smokes | 4694 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 4076 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 5262 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,036,001 of utility $110 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 53 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Maser | 71% | 66 |
| #5 | ✿ POP CAT ✿ | 69% | 71 |
| #6 | antifreeze | 67% | 157 |
| #7 | cLix | 67% | 57 |
| #8 | ddanghoony | 63% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | antifreeze | 3 | 0.0009 |
| #2 | iceman | 3 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | ✿ POP CAT ✿ | 3 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | Maser | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | cLix | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✿ POP CAT ✿ | 286 | 0.20 | 7 min |
| #2 | antifreeze | 279 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #3 | Maser | 236 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #4 | ddanghoony | 177 | 0.26 | 5 min |
| #5 | iceman | 150 | 0.10 | 4 min |





