








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 539 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 100 matches | ||
| Premier | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2483 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,450 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2928 | 35% |
| Smokes | 2242 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1206 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 2074 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $553,067 of utility $124 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 263 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Noname | 73% | 15 |
| #2 | hy | 62% | 13 |
| #3 | worstplayer | 62% | 13 |
| #4 | seppli | 58% | 12 |
| #5 | 5ch0lli | 56% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | dat_örnie | 50% | 12 |
| #8 | chickensushi | 42% | 55 |
| #9 | Enno | 41% | 22 |
| #10 | Brett.io | 38% | 13 |
| #11 | IronTony | 36% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chickensushi | 4 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | Enno | 2 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | 5ch0lli | 1 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | IronTony | 1 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | Brett.io | 1 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 5ch0lli | 135 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #2 | Brett.io | 115 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #3 | Enno | 90 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #4 | chickensushi | 84 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #5 | IronTony | 80 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Noname | +2.70 | 79 | 68 |
| #2 | SativA | +1.74 | 84 | 68 |
| #3 | seppli | +1.35 | 87 | 70 |
| #4 | worstplayer | +0.44 | 82 | 62 |
| #5 | hy | +0.18 | 79 | 71 |





