








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 207 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 87 matches | ||
| Premier | 84 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2172 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,767 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2800 | 36% |
| Smokes | 1818 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2111 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1038 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $743,763 of utility $150 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 327 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⛟ Van Man ⛟ | 71% | 17 |
| #2 | eros | 62% | 90 |
| #3 | n1lsen | 62% | 34 |
| #4 | opendeur | 55% | 38 |
| #5 | Tinkeri | 54% | 125 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⛟ Van Man ⛟ | 71% | 17 |
| #2 | eros | 62% | 90 |
| #3 | n1lsen | 62% | 34 |
| #4 | opendeur | 55% | 38 |
| #5 | Tinkeri | 54% | 125 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tinkeri | 23 | 0.0084 |
| #2 | n1lsen | 7 | 0.0094 |
| #3 | eros | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | ⛟ Van Man ⛟ | 1 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tinkeri | 526 | 0.19 | 12 min |
| #2 | eros | 512 | 0.26 | 15 min |
| #3 | opendeur | 171 | 0.21 | 3 min |
| #4 | n1lsen | 146 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #5 | ⛟ Van Man ⛟ | 13 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eros | +2.13 | 67 | 68 |
| #2 | ⛟ Van Man ⛟ | +1.83 | 75 | 33 |
| #3 | opendeur | +1.82 | 64 | 67 |
| #4 | n1lsen | +1.71 | 72 | 70 |
| #5 | Meepy | +0.32 | 58 | 66 |





