








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 127 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 30 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
397 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 872 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 135 | 15% |
| Smokes | 181 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 295 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 261 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $369,400 of utility $332 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 11 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KrabbeMor | 73% | 11 |
| #2 | KrabbeFar | 65% | 31 |
| #3 | Combos | 63% | 27 |
| #4 | Reo | 55% | 47 |
| #5 | AlviN tha polymox | 50% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | KrabbeFar | 65% | 31 |
| #3 | Combos | 63% | 27 |
| #4 | Reo | 55% | 47 |
| #5 | AlviN tha polymox | 50% | 4 |
| #6 | da9e | 44% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KrabbeMor | 1 | 0.0040 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KrabbeFar | 82 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #2 | Reo | 68 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #3 | Combos | 56 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #4 | KrabbeMor | 45 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #5 | da9e | 11 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AlviN tha polymox | +6.91 | 59 | 52 |
| #2 | Combos | +2.50 | 66 | 73 |
| #3 | KrabbeMor | +2.28 | 56 | 78 |
| #4 | luE | -0.31 | 43 | 49 |
| #5 | KrabbeFar | -0.39 | 54 | 64 |





