








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 260 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 200 matches | ||
| Faceit | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1950 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,274 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1660 | 23% |
| Smokes | 2183 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1606 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1825 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,236,638 of utility $229 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 32 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KrabbeMor | 60% | 62 |
| #2 | luE | 55% | 47 |
| #3 | Combos | 52% | 85 |
| #4 | KrabbeFar | 50% | 161 |
| #5 | jeps | 38% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Combos | 52% | 85 |
| #4 | KrabbeFar | 50% | 161 |
| #5 | jeps | 38% | 13 |
| #6 | Bille | 33% | 27 |
| #7 | da9e | 30% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KrabbeFar | 11 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | KrabbeMor | 3 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KrabbeFar | 316 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #2 | KrabbeMor | 202 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #3 | Combos | 173 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #4 | luE | 25 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #5 | Bille | 19 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bille | +2.74 | 66 | 49 |
| #2 | KrabbeMor | +1.77 | 54 | 81 |
| #3 | Combos | +1.26 | 66 | 73 |
| #4 | Reo | +0.02 | 40 | 60 |
| #5 | KrabbeFar | -0.16 | 54 | 67 |





