








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 289 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 375 matches | ||
| Faceit | 19 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 45 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3064 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,994 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3240 | 19% |
| Smokes | 4257 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 5640 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 3857 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,618,326 of utility $174 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 384 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | luE | 65% | 31 |
| #2 | VARMESAGER | 54% | 26 |
| #3 | KrabbeMor | 54% | 291 |
| #4 | Bille | 52% | 50 |
| #5 | Combos | 50% | 233 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | KrabbeMor | 54% | 291 |
| #4 | Bille | 52% | 50 |
| #5 | Combos | 50% | 233 |
| #6 | jeps | 50% | 24 |
| #7 | Reo | 50% | 161 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KrabbeMor | 10 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | Combos | 6 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | Reo | 3 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | VARMESAGER | 2 | 0.0035 |
| #5 | Bille | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KrabbeMor | 827 | 0.14 | 26 min |
| #2 | Combos | 375 | 0.08 | 12 min |
| #3 | Reo | 219 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #4 | Bille | 29 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #5 | jeps | 23 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bille | +2.04 | 71 | 56 |
| #2 | KrabbeMor | +1.29 | 58 | 80 |
| #3 | Combos | +0.75 | 61 | 71 |
| #4 | luE | +0.13 | 43 | 52 |
| #5 | Reo | -0.26 | 37 | 60 |





