








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 25 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
239 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 640 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 131 | 20% |
| Smokes | 292 | 46% |
| HE Grenades | 91 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 126 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $226,319 of utility $184 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | spencer | 80% | 5 |
| #2 | Cpt. Ohee | 60% | 10 |
| #3 | GCSChris | 55% | 31 |
| #4 | satrams | 47% | 15 |
| #5 | soup bud | 43% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | satrams | 47% | 15 |
| #5 | soup bud | 43% | 23 |
| #6 | Asa | 38% | 21 |
| #7 | Van Dinner | 35% | 46 |
| #8 | juchemz | 17% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Van Dinner | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #2 | GCSChris | 1 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GCSChris | 145 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| #2 | Van Dinner | 120 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #3 | satrams | 87 | 0.29 | 2 min |
| #4 | Asa | 56 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #5 | Cpt. Ohee | 41 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | spencer | +4.50 | 58 | 79 |
| #2 | GCSChris | +4.12 | 81 | 55 |
| #3 | satrams | +2.97 | 82 | 72 |
| #4 | Cpt. Ohee | +2.05 | 94 | 63 |
| #5 | Asa | +0.80 | 74 | 63 |





