








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 870 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 788 matches | ||
| Faceit | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 143 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7052 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 38,166 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10275 | 27% |
| Smokes | 9096 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 11614 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 7181 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,500,149 of utility $133 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 925 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lukas med c | 55% | 274 |
| #2 | -KlimpeN- | 53% | 389 |
| #3 | Z | 52% | 655 |
| #4 | frontis | 48% | 60 |
| #5 | Buffy2419 | 47% | 99 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | -KlimpeN- | 53% | 389 |
| #3 | Z | 52% | 655 |
| #4 | frontis | 48% | 60 |
| #5 | Buffy2419 | 47% | 99 |
| #6 | Im Lovin It [Endrazed FTW] | 41% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Z | 30 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | Lukas med c | 8 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | -KlimpeN- | 7 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | Buffy2419 | 4 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | frontis | 4 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Z | 3302 | 0.24 | 96 min |
| #2 | Lukas med c | 632 | 0.11 | 17 min |
| #3 | -KlimpeN- | 467 | 0.06 | 11 min |
| #4 | frontis | 169 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #5 | Buffy2419 | 110 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Z | +1.72 | 67 | 79 |
| #2 | frontis | +1.45 | 82 | 70 |
| #3 | Lukas med c | +1.19 | 53 | 71 |
| #4 | EeZe | -0.54 | 46 | 72 |
| #5 | -KlimpeN- | -1.48 | 53 | 53 |





