








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 26 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 61 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 33 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
604 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,263 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 296 | 13% |
| Smokes | 566 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 964 | 43% |
| Molotovs | 437 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $425,577 of utility $170 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 27 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Lukas med c | 50% | 46 |
| #3 | Z | 42% | 90 |
| #4 | EeZe | 41% | 61 |
| #5 | -KlimpeN- | 39% | 54 |
| #6 | Buffy2419 | 36% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Z | 4 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | EeZe | 3 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | -KlimpeN- | 2 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | Buffy2419 | 2 | 0.0044 |
| #5 | Lukas med c | 1 | 0.0010 |





