








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 923 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Esplay | 75 matches | 1,610 | |
| Faceit | 53 matches | ||
| Premier | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 67 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1916 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,574 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2306 | 30% |
| Smokes | 2016 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1905 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1347 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $794,866 of utility $167 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 86 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jompa | 76% | 17 |
| #2 | Windoor | 66% | 29 |
| #3 | BakkiS | 53% | 30 |
| #4 | Ørjan * | 53% | 19 |
| #5 | rudde | 52% | 75 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Ørjan * | 53% | 19 |
| #5 | rudde | 52% | 75 |
| #6 | gaski | 51% | 35 |
| #7 | Zere | 50% | 38 |
| #8 | Bonkers! | 38% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gaski | 2 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | BakkiS | 1 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | Windoor | 1 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rudde | 252 | 0.16 | 8 min |
| #2 | Zere | 135 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #3 | Windoor | 100 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #4 | BakkiS | 88 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #5 | Ørjan * | 73 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Windoor | +3.84 | 68 | 69 |
| #2 | Ørjan * | +2.61 | 73 | 68 |
| #3 | Zere | +1.90 | 72 | 67 |
| #4 | Davy Jones | +0.60 | 61 | 63 |
| #5 | rudde | +0.03 | 46 | 77 |





