










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 71 matches | ||
| Esplay | 17 matches | 1,650 | |
| Faceit | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 94 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1077 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,270 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 494 | 12% |
| Smokes | 1197 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1501 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 1078 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $843,719 of utility $254 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 45 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #13 | Davy Jones | 38% | 24 |
| #14 | Ørjan * | 33% | 9 |
| #15 | Windoor | 23% | 13 |
| #16 | Boknabajas | 21% | 14 |
| #17 | niZK | 21% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rudde | 5 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | Zere | 5 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | gaski | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | bkw | 1 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | Davy Jones | 1 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rudde | 452 | 0.15 | 15 min |
| #2 | Zere | 362 | 0.18 | 10 min |
| #3 | Davy Jones | 69 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #4 | Windoor | 59 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| #5 | BakkiS | 53 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bkw | +3.71 | 69 | 64 |
| #2 | Zere | +2.93 | 73 | 67 |
| #3 | Skolund | +2.34 | 93 | 40 |
| #4 | niZK | +2.10 | 66 | 56 |
| #5 | gaski | +2.02 | 47 | 46 |





