








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 129 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 164 matches | ||
| Premier | 19 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2162 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,461 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1677 | 22% |
| Smokes | 2016 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1793 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1975 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $964,167 of utility $169 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 327 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Alb1 | 63% | 32 |
| #2 | Posing Frog | 57% | 14 |
| #3 | reez | 56% | 68 |
| #4 | Kers | 54% | 93 |
| #5 | immortal bot | 51% | 87 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | cats | 49% | 37 |
| #9 | Origorn | 48% | 156 |
| #10 | gyafun | 47% | 115 |
| #11 | Resarf | 43% | 21 |
| #12 | Wavy Gravy | 40% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Origorn | 3 | 0.0009 |
| #2 | gyafun | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | Kers | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | immortal bot | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | Doughboy | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Origorn | 632 | 0.18 | 19 min |
| #2 | Kers | 392 | 0.19 | 11 min |
| #3 | gyafun | 280 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #4 | Doughboy | 137 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #5 | reez | 108 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kers | +2.85 | 68 | 73 |
| #2 | immortal bot | +2.10 | 83 | 49 |
| #3 | cats | +1.52 | 71 | 55 |
| #4 | Doughboy | +1.12 | 77 | 67 |
| #5 | Origorn | +0.83 | 48 | 74 |





