








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 489 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 454 matches | ||
| Premier | 82 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5093 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,440 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5502 | 23% |
| Smokes | 5732 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 6307 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 5899 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,337,448 of utility $180 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 179 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wavy Gravy | 63% | 43 |
| #2 | Kers | 55% | 205 |
| #3 | Alb1 | 55% | 53 |
| #4 | moss | 52% | 144 |
| #5 | LS9 | 52% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | immortal bot | 49% | 197 |
| #10 | sloink | 47% | 115 |
| #11 | Peachitza | 46% | 79 |
| #12 | Posing Frog | 45% | 49 |
| #13 | cats | 40% | 67 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Origorn | 7 | 0.0008 |
| #2 | Kers | 4 | 0.0009 |
| #3 | sloink | 4 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | Doughboy | 3 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | Posing Frog | 2 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Origorn | 1646 | 0.19 | 42 min |
| #2 | Kers | 703 | 0.16 | 21 min |
| #3 | Doughboy | 318 | 0.07 | 9 min |
| #4 | immortal bot | 264 | 0.06 | 7 min |
| #5 | sloink | 232 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kers | +2.62 | 66 | 71 |
| #2 | immortal bot | +2.26 | 81 | 48 |
| #3 | LS9 | +1.09 | 63 | 57 |
| #4 | Origorn | +0.93 | 50 | 70 |
| #5 | cats | +0.51 | 82 | 59 |





