








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 696 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 386 matches | ||
| Premier | 99 matches | ||
| Wingman | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6044 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,762 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2140 | 14% |
| Smokes | 4374 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 5175 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 3073 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,917,914 of utility $158 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 447 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kers | 59% | 76 |
| #2 | Resarf | 57% | 75 |
| #3 | dave | 55% | 49 |
| #4 | reez | 53% | 68 |
| #5 | moss | 51% | 72 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Posing Frog | 48% | 31 |
| #10 | Alb1 | 47% | 30 |
| #11 | cats | 44% | 34 |
| #12 | Doughboy | 44% | 131 |
| #13 | Wavy Gravy | 35% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dave | 3 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | Origorn | 2 | 0.0003 |
| #3 | Doughboy | 2 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | Resarf | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | Posing Frog | 2 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Origorn | 1109 | 0.19 | 30 min |
| #2 | gyafun | 467 | 0.11 | 11 min |
| #3 | Kers | 244 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #4 | Doughboy | 164 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #5 | sloink | 134 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kers | +1.98 | 66 | 70 |
| #2 | immortal bot | +1.78 | 82 | 50 |
| #3 | dave | +0.27 | 75 | 51 |
| #4 | Origorn | +0.23 | 50 | 70 |
| #5 | reez | -0.06 | 84 | 66 |





