








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 171 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 30 matches | ||
| Renown | 7 matches | ||
| Premier | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
794 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,645 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 596 | 23% |
| Smokes | 744 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 523 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 782 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $273,032 of utility $181 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 33 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cherri | 75% | 4 |
| #2 | PiuPiuTrrPiu | 75% | 4 |
| #3 | 20% *___* | 75% | 4 |
| #4 | gera | 75% | 8 |
| #5 | ❤RIN4IKS❤ | 70% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | ūUpis` | 60% | 15 |
| #9 | CornDoogs | 53% | 38 |
| #10 | .laura | 50% | 4 |
| #11 | Accord | 50% | 4 |
| #12 | twitch.tv/darmstati | 50% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CornDoogs | 2 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | ;] | 1 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | FlanTV | 1 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | gera | 1 | 0.0054 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CornDoogs | 198 | 0.24 | 6 min |
| #2 | FlanTV | 122 | 0.21 | 4 min |
| #3 | ūUpis` | 72 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| #4 | ;] | 69 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | twitch.tv/darmstati | 39 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | babush | +2.98 | 83 | 67 |
| #2 | FlanTV | +2.73 | 89 | 67 |
| #3 | Cherri | +2.33 | 84 | 70 |
| #4 | 20% *___* | +1.86 | 68 | 55 |
| #5 | ūUpis` | +1.60 | 84 | 81 |





