








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 96 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 133 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1803 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,786 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 983 | 26% |
| Smokes | 977 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 942 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 884 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $308,462 of utility $88 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Princess Kenneth | 59% | 34 |
| #2 | uncle snoop^劈 | 58% | 36 |
| #3 | Kayayayayyaaay | 56% | 36 |
| #4 | fjiuM ツ | 56% | 36 |
| #5 | Zorkey | 52% | 151 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | fjiuM ツ | 56% | 36 |
| #5 | Zorkey | 52% | 151 |
| #6 | YoungToast | 50% | 10 |
| #7 | Cheffo | 44% | 16 |
| #8 | Shane ㋛ | 33% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zorkey | 3 | 0.0009 |
| #2 | fjiuM ツ | 2 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | uncle snoop^劈 | 1 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | Kayayayayyaaay | 1 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | Shane ㋛ | 1 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fjiuM ツ | 94 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #2 | uncle snoop^劈 | 88 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #3 | Zorkey | 73 | 0.02 | 3 min |
| #4 | Princess Kenneth | 61 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | Shane ㋛ | 36 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fjiuM ツ | +5.38 | 84 | 71 |
| #2 | Grandan | +2.55 | 84 | 59 |
| #3 | Shane ㋛ | +0.97 | 75 | 84 |
| #4 | Zorkey | +0.31 | 70 | 53 |
| #5 | uncle snoop^劈 | -1.46 | 59 | 71 |





