








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 414 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 350 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 86 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3557 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,740 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1073 | 11% |
| Smokes | 3048 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 3888 | 40% |
| Molotovs | 1731 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,474,722 of utility $168 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 43 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Grandan | 52% | 151 |
| #2 | YoungToast | 51% | 67 |
| #3 | uncle snoop^劈 | 50% | 182 |
| #4 | fjiuM ツ | 49% | 183 |
| #5 | Kayayayayyaaay | 47% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | uncle snoop^劈 | 50% | 182 |
| #4 | fjiuM ツ | 49% | 183 |
| #5 | Kayayayayyaaay | 47% | 43 |
| #6 | Princess Kenneth | 44% | 147 |
| #7 | quals | 44% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fjiuM ツ | 12 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | uncle snoop^劈 | 4 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | Grandan | 4 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | YoungToast | 3 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | Princess Kenneth | 2 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fjiuM ツ | 636 | 0.17 | 20 min |
| #2 | uncle snoop^劈 | 456 | 0.12 | 12 min |
| #3 | Princess Kenneth | 282 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #4 | Grandan | 215 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #5 | YoungToast | 118 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fjiuM ツ | +5.77 | 86 | 75 |
| #2 | Grandan | +2.59 | 83 | 59 |
| #3 | Zorkey | -0.29 | 69 | 51 |
| #4 | uncle snoop^劈 | -1.46 | 47 | 72 |
| #5 | quals | -1.63 | 61 | 46 |





