








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 724 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 73 matches | ||
| Premier | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 32 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1973 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,571 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1819 | 24% |
| Smokes | 2575 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 1478 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1699 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $632,169 of utility $165 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 385 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mashman | 90% | 10 |
| #2 | Phatty (unemployed) | 72% | 18 |
| #3 | D1m1 | 67% | 60 |
| #4 | del | 51% | 81 |
| #5 | ♥♡제니artinny0쯔위♡♥ | 51% | 99 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | del | 51% | 81 |
| #5 | ♥♡제니artinny0쯔위♡♥ | 51% | 99 |
| #6 | Faylanks | 50% | 34 |
| #7 | Preston | 48% | 89 |
| #8 | cloud | 46% | 69 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | del | 4 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | Preston | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | ♥♡제니artinny0쯔위♡♥ | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | D1m1 | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | Faylanks | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | del | 334 | 0.19 | 9 min |
| #2 | ♥♡제니artinny0쯔위♡♥ | 309 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #3 | Preston | 152 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #4 | cloud | 125 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #5 | D1m1 | 121 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mashman | +2.23 | 72 | 73 |
| #2 | aware | +2.02 | 77 | 71 |
| #3 | ♥♡제니artinny0쯔위♡♥ | +1.64 | 71 | 67 |
| #4 | cloud | +0.22 | 84 | 46 |
| #5 | Faylanks | -0.53 | 63 | 60 |





