








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 28 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 59 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
849 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,235 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 662 | 30% |
| Smokes | 823 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 393 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 357 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $220,055 of utility $118 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 5 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pETER | 100% | 5 |
| #2 | Charlot | 54% | 68 |
| #3 | L’Imperator | 53% | 78 |
| #4 | valko | 50% | 6 |
| #5 | sink | 50% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | valko | 50% | 6 |
| #5 | sink | 50% | 12 |
| #6 | GiL Weo | 50% | 20 |
| #7 | Martin Spray | 40% | 5 |
| #8 | JOHNBAPTISTE | 40% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Charlot | 3 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | L’Imperator | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | JOHNBAPTISTE | 2 | 0.0046 |
| #4 | GiL Weo | 1 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Charlot | 112 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #2 | L’Imperator | 54 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #3 | JOHNBAPTISTE | 49 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #4 | GiL Weo | 44 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | valko | 19 | 0.15 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pETER | +2.10 | 67 | 68 |
| #2 | E T NNN 正義 | +2.02 | 84 | 58 |
| #3 | GiL Weo | +1.64 | 52 | 62 |
| #4 | valko | -0.01 | 76 | 69 |
| #5 | sink | -0.16 | 88 | 57 |





