








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 439 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 318 matches | ||
| Premier | 253 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 204 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 116 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 86 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 73 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 16 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 69 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8859 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 41,203 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4064 | 10% |
| Smokes | 12452 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 9114 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 15573 | 38% |
Our logs show you have wasted $5,121,206 of utility $201 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 408 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kanye West at His Kanye Best | 54% | 158 |
| #2 | Yunk | 49% | 131 |
| #3 | 980325ra | 41% | 113 |
| #4 | Marte | 40% | 221 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kanye West at His Kanye Best | 54% | 158 |
| #2 | Yunk | 49% | 131 |
| #3 | 980325ra | 41% | 113 |
| #4 | Marte | 40% | 221 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kanye West at His Kanye Best | 5 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | Marte | 4 | 0.0009 |
| #3 | Yunk | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | 980325ra | 1 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kanye West at His Kanye Best | 380 | 0.11 | 10 min |
| #2 | 980325ra | 174 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #3 | Yunk | 112 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #4 | Marte | 75 | 0.02 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kanye West at His Kanye Best | +3.88 | 86 | 70 |
| #2 | Yunk | +0.75 | 58 | 46 |
| #3 | Antoine The French G | -0.07 | 27 | 54 |
| #4 | 980325ra | -1.00 | 56 | 54 |
| #5 | Marte | -2.05 | 40 | 28 |





