








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 60 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 98 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Renown | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1477 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,065 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 493 | 16% |
| Smokes | 850 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 622 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1100 | 36% |
Our logs show you have wasted $801,055 of utility $267 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 81 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | InTeNs^ | 75% | 8 |
| #2 | Pepsipowers | 63% | 16 |
| #3 | Mta | 56% | 64 |
| #4 | Hitty© | 56% | 9 |
| #5 | LS Incredible | 55% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Hitty© | 56% | 9 |
| #5 | LS Incredible | 55% | 22 |
| #6 | G1zm0 | 49% | 35 |
| #7 | Schrödinger's silver | 46% | 74 |
| #8 | Nubix | 25% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mta | 6 | 0.0043 |
| #2 | Schrödinger's silver | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #3 | G1zm0 | 1 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | Pepsipowers | 1 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Schrödinger's silver | 196 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #2 | G1zm0 | 80 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #3 | Mta | 76 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #4 | LS Incredible | 40 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | Pepsipowers | 22 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mta | +1.12 | 57 | 67 |
| #2 | Schrödinger's silver | +1.06 | 64 | 61 |
| #3 | ✪ Fl0ppy | +0.82 | 78 | 53 |
| #4 | Pepsipowers | +0.38 | 72 | 48 |
| #5 | InTeNs^ | +0.31 | 56 | 40 |





