








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 381 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 392 matches | ||
| Wingman | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 34 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




32 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4544 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,544 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2023 | 16% |
| Smokes | 2599 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 4070 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 3852 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,761,827 of utility $181 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 154 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Powerpuff <3 | 51% | 99 |
| #7 | G1zm0 | 50% | 319 |
| #8 | Schrödinger's silver | 50% | 337 |
| #9 | Pepsipowers | 46% | 109 |
| #10 | LS Incredible | 45% | 143 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Schrödinger's silver | 812 | 0.12 | 21 min |
| #2 | G1zm0 | 724 | 0.10 | 16 min |
| #3 | morkeno | 479 | 0.21 | 11 min |
| #4 | Phil_McCrack | 470 | 0.16 | 12 min |
| #5 | LS Incredible | 340 | 0.11 | 11 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Fl0ppy | +1.27 | 77 | 55 |
| #2 | Schrödinger's silver | +1.22 | 65 | 59 |
| #3 | Mta | +0.65 | 59 | 59 |
| #4 | Phil_McCrack | +0.48 | 71 | 64 |
| #5 | Pepsipowers | +0.13 | 76 | 59 |





