








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 359 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 494 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 52 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4727 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,298 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4245 | 23% |
| Smokes | 5588 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 5000 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 3465 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,961,124 of utility $166 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 208 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Pepsipowers | 48% | 120 |
| #8 | morkeno | 48% | 184 |
| #9 | LS Incredible | 46% | 159 |
| #10 | Vurkis | 45% | 38 |
| #11 | bobby peru | 43% | 136 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mta | 19 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | Phil_McCrack | 10 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | Pepsipowers | 9 | 0.0035 |
| #4 | morkeno | 7 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | Schrödinger's silver | 6 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Schrödinger's silver | 958 | 0.12 | 25 min |
| #2 | morkeno | 839 | 0.21 | 20 min |
| #3 | Phil_McCrack | 769 | 0.18 | 21 min |
| #4 | Mta | 428 | 0.06 | 10 min |
| #5 | LS Incredible | 413 | 0.12 | 12 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Schrödinger's silver | +1.52 | 66 | 61 |
| #2 | Mta | +0.90 | 58 | 59 |
| #3 | Phil_McCrack | +0.68 | 73 | 63 |
| #4 | ✪ Fl0ppy | +0.65 | 75 | 57 |
| #5 | Pepsipowers | +0.42 | 78 | 61 |





