








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 346 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1567 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,396 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 837 | 25% |
| Smokes | 591 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 969 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 999 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,073,314 of utility $254 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 74 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | McGoo | 68% | 31 |
| #2 | 007 | 67% | 12 |
| #3 | Andrew | 65% | 37 |
| #4 | kasvatti☆ | 56% | 98 |
| #5 | baquete | 53% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | FISHI<3 | 45% | 64 |
| #9 | IGet0Girls | 44% | 16 |
| #10 | Lukosa | 40% | 35 |
| #11 | Mez | 33% | 21 |
| #12 | lnkjoiwaeqdf | 31% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kasvatti☆ | 26 | 0.0127 |
| #2 | baquete | 25 | 0.0196 |
| #3 | Lukosa | 16 | 0.0212 |
| #4 | ★ dak | 8 | 0.0039 |
| #5 | FISHI<3 | 8 | 0.0057 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kasvatti☆ | 310 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #2 | ★ dak | 283 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #3 | baquete | 207 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #4 | Andrew | 124 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #5 | McGoo | 111 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kasvatti☆ | +3.99 | 76 | 64 |
| #2 | Andrew | +3.41 | 80 | 64 |
| #3 | Mez | +2.27 | 64 | 36 |
| #4 | ★ dak | +1.45 | 79 | 60 |
| #5 | 007 | +0.86 | 79 | 50 |





