








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1150 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 273 matches | ||
| Faceit | 187 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 64 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6395 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,728 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5917 | 30% |
| Smokes | 5384 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3386 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 5041 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,511,318 of utility $133 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 794 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Don't Trip | 72% | 187 |
| #2 | sideways | 72% | 193 |
| #3 | Sev | 71% | 48 |
| #4 | Walker | 70% | 313 |
| #5 | Zeus2k | 69% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | seny | 62% | 164 |
| #9 | no1k | 62% | 50 |
| #10 | Zak | 60% | 111 |
| #11 | phaethon- | 56% | 84 |
| #12 | [B]ennyS | 52% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Don't Trip | 20 | 0.0052 |
| #2 | unbound | 10 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | sideways | 7 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | Walker | 6 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | seny | 5 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Walker | 876 | 0.13 | 28 min |
| #2 | Don't Trip | 790 | 0.21 | 25 min |
| #3 | unbound | 628 | 0.14 | 15 min |
| #4 | sideways | 520 | 0.13 | 14 min |
| #5 | seny | 449 | 0.13 | 10 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Don't Trip | +3.63 | 76 | 64 |
| #2 | Kasta | +2.28 | 83 | 68 |
| #3 | Zeus2k | +1.94 | 89 | 69 |
| #4 | Sev | +1.86 | 82 | 71 |
| #5 | Walker | +1.63 | 72 | 70 |





