








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 627 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 181 matches | ||
| Faceit | 161 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4903 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,717 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4240 | 29% |
| Smokes | 4449 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2910 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 3118 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,415,067 of utility $150 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 248 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Don't Trip | 79% | 122 |
| #2 | poisinmunkee | 76% | 37 |
| #3 | Walker | 75% | 212 |
| #4 | unbound | 74% | 119 |
| #5 | phaethon- | 73% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Kasta | 72% | 193 |
| #8 | seny | 67% | 145 |
| #9 | Zak | 67% | 69 |
| #10 | phnx | 66% | 82 |
| #11 | kilbo | 62% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Don't Trip | 16 | 0.0062 |
| #2 | Walker | 7 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | Kasta | 7 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | unbound | 6 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | Difference | 3 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kasta | 717 | 0.17 | 22 min |
| #2 | Walker | 654 | 0.15 | 22 min |
| #3 | Don't Trip | 559 | 0.22 | 17 min |
| #4 | seny | 430 | 0.14 | 10 min |
| #5 | Difference | 373 | 0.23 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Don't Trip | +4.19 | 76 | 64 |
| #2 | sideways | +2.67 | 87 | 69 |
| #3 | Kasta | +2.33 | 86 | 69 |
| #4 | Walker | +2.02 | 72 | 70 |
| #5 | phnx | +0.92 | 79 | 75 |





