








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2301 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 489 matches | ||
| Faceit | 135 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 49 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




37 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8547 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,325 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6769 | 28% |
| Smokes | 5978 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 4820 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 6758 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,434,831 of utility $161 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2066 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sideways | 74% | 119 |
| #2 | Don't Trip | 73% | 135 |
| #3 | Kasta | 67% | 223 |
| #4 | Walker | 67% | 258 |
| #5 | phnx | 65% | 78 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | seny | 63% | 135 |
| #8 | no1k | 60% | 276 |
| #9 | zbz | 54% | 203 |
| #10 | phaethon- | 53% | 171 |
| #11 | workvs | 49% | 120 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | no1k | 23 | 0.0040 |
| #2 | zbz | 14 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | Don't Trip | 13 | 0.0045 |
| #4 | phaethon- | 11 | 0.0031 |
| #5 | Walker | 6 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zbz | 1443 | 0.34 | 28 min |
| #2 | Kasta | 922 | 0.20 | 26 min |
| #3 | Walker | 720 | 0.14 | 23 min |
| #4 | no1k | 596 | 0.10 | 12 min |
| #5 | Don't Trip | 587 | 0.20 | 18 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Don't Trip | +3.76 | 75 | 67 |
| #2 | Kasta | +2.41 | 83 | 68 |
| #3 | unbound | +2.39 | 80 | 62 |
| #4 | no1k | +2.10 | 83 | 45 |
| #5 | sideways | +1.94 | 87 | 67 |





