








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 229 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 124 matches | ||
| Faceit | 113 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2853 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,232 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2323 | 32% |
| Smokes | 1818 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1109 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 1982 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,060,188 of utility $178 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 291 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Don't Trip | 68% | 93 |
| #2 | sideways | 67% | 69 |
| #3 | unbound | 64% | 88 |
| #4 | phnx | 63% | 106 |
| #5 | seny | 62% | 82 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | seny | 62% | 82 |
| #6 | Walker | 61% | 208 |
| #7 | Kasta | 60% | 111 |
| #8 | phaethon- | 56% | 97 |
| #9 | no1k | 50% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Don't Trip | 7 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | phnx | 5 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | phaethon- | 5 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | Kasta | 4 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | unbound | 3 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Walker | 634 | 0.15 | 21 min |
| #2 | Kasta | 416 | 0.18 | 12 min |
| #3 | phnx | 401 | 0.18 | 11 min |
| #4 | Don't Trip | 399 | 0.22 | 12 min |
| #5 | unbound | 264 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Don't Trip | +3.94 | 74 | 68 |
| #2 | Walker | +2.15 | 74 | 72 |
| #3 | phnx | +1.99 | 81 | 75 |
| #4 | no1k | +1.55 | 81 | 38 |
| #5 | unbound | +1.53 | 77 | 63 |





