








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 64 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 55 matches | ||
| Renown | 32 matches | ||
| Premier | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1458 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,895 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 945 | 19% |
| Smokes | 1561 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 771 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 1618 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $263,773 of utility $82 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 20 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | urban | 78% | 18 |
| #2 | atom | 75% | 8 |
| #3 | kotbegemot | 73% | 11 |
| #4 | btahke | 63% | 8 |
| #5 | grass gaming | 56% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | grass gaming | 56% | 59 |
| #6 | Den1x | 53% | 77 |
| #7 | God Save the King | 50% | 32 |
| #8 | GeNaNah | 46% | 26 |
| #9 | Signaturk4 | 45% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Den1x | 8 | 0.0051 |
| #2 | grass gaming | 6 | 0.0048 |
| #3 | God Save the King | 5 | 0.0070 |
| #4 | GeNaNah | 3 | 0.0053 |
| #5 | urban | 3 | 0.0087 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Den1x | 610 | 0.39 | 21 min |
| #2 | grass gaming | 206 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #3 | God Save the King | 131 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #4 | btahke | 81 | 0.49 | 3 min |
| #5 | GeNaNah | 53 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Signaturk4 | +4.73 | 60 | 67 |
| #2 | btahke | +2.70 | 96 | 79 |
| #3 | GeNaNah | +2.28 | 72 | 60 |
| #4 | urban | +1.84 | 91 | 58 |
| #5 | Den1x | +1.69 | 79 | 81 |





